I have a pen pal in the pen.
I don't know Jonathan Alderton. Inmate #EW2798. Age 41. I have no idea what he did to earn himself an all-expense paid vacation (on your dime) to the Commonwealth's resort in Indiana, Pennsylvania. But he seems to know me. I guess The Free Press is available even to those who aren't so Free.
He knew what to write: "You sir are one of the few citizens who took the time to ask questions. That makes you an exceptional person." OK, Jonathan, you've got my attention.
Prisoners don't have much, except time. Lots and lots of time. Some use the years wisely, to prepare for a better life on the outside. Some use them poorly in a variety of ways - brawling, harboring resentment, plotting the less noble things they plan when they get out.
Jonathan occupies himself by fighting crime in Bucks County. Specifically corruption. In his own words, "Extortion, manufacturing evidence, selling sentences, forging documents, witness tampering, jury tampering. For political and financial gain. Period."
It is somewhat of an inconvenience being stuck in prison, because he is forced to rely on snail mail to tell the world what he knows. There might also be a credibility issue here, given his current occupation. But that has not stopped him from enlisting an impressive army of pen pals. I am in conspicuous, if not willing, company.
Lynne Abraham, Mark Schweiker, Bob Casey Jr., Rick Santorum, Ed Rendell, Diane Gibbons, Joe Hoeffel. John Ashcroft. Hillary Clinton. Senators Harold Ford of Tennessee, Diane Feinstein of California, Charles Schumer of New York, Tom Daschle and Tim Johnson of South Dakota, Joe Biden of Delaware, Bob Graham and Bob Wexler of Florida.
John Kerry and John Edwards. But not George W. Maybe Jonathan is a Democrat.
Whenever there is a story about corruption or illegal activities in Bucks, which is often, Jonathan swings into action. It worked for Mel Gibson in "Conspiracy Theory", didn't it? The difference is, Mel was on the outside, and had Julia Roberts and Hollywood to help him.
There is no one to help Jonathan. He knows more about rejection than Simon Cowell. I haven't even figured out what he wants. Maybe he doesn't deserve help. It's a sure thing he can't afford it. And that is the part worth thinking about.
Just like we saw Mel and Julia amazingly unmask a celluloid conspiracy in about two hours Hollywood time, our perception of the legal system has been distorted. We focus on the big-time productions like the trials of OJ, Kobe, and Scott Peterson. Such people of means employ armies of high-priced defense attorneys, with private investigators to track down every shred of evidence, and tons of scientific tests performed by well-qualified, well-paid experts.
On the other side of town, law enforcement personnel, district attorneys, and public defenders are overwhelmingly dedicated individuals who do the best jobs they can. But the money isn't there. It's in the defendants' pockets. You never hear about a defense attorney who became a prosecutor, or a private detective becoming a cop. The street is one way the other way. Some criminal defendants can show them the money. Some public servants just can't resist. Even while employed by the good guys.
Or so Jonathan says.
Judges, prosecutors, and public defenders in a massive conspiracy to sell light sentences? Jonathan would have more luck selling the concept to John Grisham or Scott Turow. My first instinct was to dismiss the whole thing as the usual prison-spawned anger. But Jonathan doesn't sound angry. And how about those news articles...?
Bucks County's prison investigator, facing 30 years for extortion, selling drugs in prison, and offering to make a defendant's DUI "go away" for $1200, was given a sentence allowing parole in 4 1/2 months.
A county detective (and former Quakertown police officer) who investigated child sex-abuse cases was sentenced to only a short house arrest for molesting a 13-year old girl who had thought of him as "her best friend". And while on parole for that crime, he crashed his car in West Rockhill with a blood alcohol level more than twice the legal limit. The same judge sentenced him to 48 more hours of house arrest, the DUI minimum, despite protests from Pennsylvania law enforcement.
A former Doylestown cop received the minimum 5-to-10-year sentence for trying to kill a fellow officer and former lover, and even that was overturned because prosecutors failed to prove his intended victim actually saw the gun.
Two Bucks County prison guards, both married and with 20 years of service, were sentenced to short house arrest, and probation, respectively, for sexually assaulting female inmates. The attorney for one of the men called the sentence "extremely wonderful and human".
Former Bucks state representative Thomas Druce was able to delay for five years his already-featherlight 2-to-4 year jail sentence for hit-and-run vehicular homicide, insurance fraud, and tampering with evidence. He was even permitted to keep his driver's license, leading to an incident when he was stopped doing 57 mph in a 40 mph residential zone.
And he will be allowed to serve his time in Pennsylvania's cushy prison for the elderly. Old Man Druce is 44. (OK, so that happened out in Dauphin County, but Druce is from Bucks, and this is all Conspiracy Theory, remember?)
And who is watching? Since World War II, one political party has been in complete control of the county.
Best-selling novels have been built on less.