George Washington chopped down a cherry tree, and later said he could not lie about it. John Norvaisas learned to make cherry pie, but later could not tell the truth about how he got the recipe.
Perhaps you had not heard of John Norvaisas until recently. He is a 36-year old bread truck driver from Richlandtown, who cooked up a challenge to 12-term incumbent Paul Clymer for State Representative. And if, indeed, you had not heard of him, you are not alone. The college he claims to have graduated from hasn't either.
Like virtually all candidates, Chef JoNo's recipe for success included whipping up a website to present his views, visions, and qualifications for office. Cyber-creation and maintenance can be as complex as a souffle, so those of us who are technological fast-fooders usually put them in the hands of an expert. An Iron Chef of bits and bytes.
JoNo's choice du jour for Mixmaster Webmaster was Amy Zowniriw, wife of Richland Supervisor Mike Zowniriw. This was no real surprise, since Mike appears in several pictures on the site with Norvaisas, including the fundraising page. And Z's close ally, Patrick Murphy, is listed as a campaign "advisor".
Norvaisas, Murphy, and Amy Z are as murky as pea soup regarding JoNo's short-order biography. Age, name of wife and kids. 1987 graduate of Cheltenham High School. 1993 graduate of Boston University. Not much of a grocery list for a man who has lived 36 years, and wants to be our Paul Prudhomme of Politics.
But even with that tiny pinch of information, something was fishy. If he graduated from a prime-cut private school like Boston University, why is he driving a bread truck 11 years later? (So he can bring home the big dough?) And why has he omitted his occupation, and whatever he has done with his degree since graduation? And why didn't he list that degree? Is it a secret ingredient?
Step One: A simple phone call to the Alumni Relations Office at Boston University. Wilma Lewis searched the school database, and reported that no one named John A. Norvaisas ever graduated from BU. Not in 1993. Not ever. In fact, no one by that name even attended classes there.
Step Two: Add a dash of confirmation. Multiple sources. And since JoNo's website was filled with references to maintaining jobs, I did my part and provided a task for another BU department. The keeper of all knowledge about those student seekers of knowledge.
That would be Public Relations, which provided the icing on the cake. They have a procedure called a Verification Check to confirm whether a person ever attended or graduated. It cuts down on fictitious claims which, amazingly enough, sometimes occur.
Like a Jenny Craig escapee at a smorgasbord, it took Mr. Colin Riley three hours to finish. Since Wilma Lewis had given me an answer in less time than it takes to boil water, it appears that Riley was leaving no crumb unturned. After all, before one roasts a candidate for misrepresentation, one should be very sure that there is no Chef's Surprise. But even after a gourmet exhaustive search, the answer came back the same.
No John A. Norvaisas graduated from BU in 1993, or any other year. There is no record of John A. Norvaisas ever attending the school. The official position of Boston University.
Turn Up the Heat: Get JoNo's side of things. The answer was not exactly a George Washington cherry-tree apology. Norvaisas' background may be bread, but he sure has learned to twist the truth like a pretzel. His explanation was more of a stretch than a gooey string of pizza cheese.
Chew on this: John A. Norvaisas attended a three-month cooking program through Boston University's Center for Lifelong Learning. He received a "Certificate in the Culinary Arts". A McEducation! Gag me with a spoon.
What did he study? " Stocks, soups and sauces; egg dishes; seafood, poultry and meats; vegetables; pastas; rice and other grains; herbs and salads; fruits; breads; and pastry and other desserts. Ethnic and regional cuisine, the history of food, menu planning, equipment handling, nutrition, food writing, the economics of running a restaurant, the study of wines, field trips, and sanitation training."
Seems like the educational menu any politician needs. And to JoNo, Murphy, and Amy Z, it was enough to justify making the claim "1993 Graduate of Boston University". Doesn't this just fry your eggs? Real alumni, who spent four years, and a potful of green, on a genuine BU degree, should be getting serious indigestion from this Whopper!
Whipped Cream and Cherry On Top: One of the things Norvaisas campaigned strongly against was the right of an employer in Pennsylvania to ask certain questions of a job applicant. "People are not legally protected from being asked invasive questions during interviews." Maybe the fact that he, and Patrick Murphy, and Amy Zowniriw were hiding a spicy secret from the voters - his potential employers - has something to do with this attitude.
Norvaisas received an endorsement from Anthony J. Melio, the State Representative from the Bristol area. Melio, a fellow Democrat, concluded with the statement, "I know that you will be a credit to the Pennsylvania House of Representatives, and I look forward to working with you."
Tie on the apron, Tony. Bon appetit.
Note: Several days after this story was posted, the words "Culinary Arts" appeared after "Boston University" on JoNo's website biography. Somewhat akin to a recipe with most of the ingredients still left out.