Touchstone explained in Shakespeare's "As You Like It", There is much virtue in IF...
IF Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire have let us down (where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?) let's start looking for role models locally.
Illegal drugs and banned substances are the number one domestic threat to our children today. No one, nowhere, is immune. The FBI reports that a drug arrest is made, on the average, every 20 seconds, almost 2 million people in 2004! Federal, state, and local governments have spent over $17 billion so far this year on the war on drugs.
Many government and private employers now require drug testing. Fail, and you're out. Period. Zero tolerance.
America's most visible heroes, those in professional sports, have the opportunity to be real role models for our young, but their image as a whole has suffered from the McGuires, Bondses, and Dykstras, who have dominated the headlines with their alleged juicing. The major sports leagues have been shamed into compliance programs, with Congress adding its two cents, demanding stricter testing for all major league teams.
But athletes are not the only role models available. What IF our town leaders - people we know personally - decided to join in? To say "We understand the importance of this battle, and want to add our voices".
What IF the elected leaders of Richland, Quakertown, Milford, Haycock, Trumbauersville, Nockamixon, Richlandtown, and Springfield all stood up and voluntarily agreed to undergo drug testing?
The gesture would be mostly symbolic. Like being the first donor at a blood drive. But it would send a strong message. D.A.R.E. in action. A big way that even small towns can be part of the national effort.
But IF that idea doesn't stimulate you, try one of these...
IF you are opposed to gay marriage because you believe, like the Rick Santorums of the world, that it will irreparably harm family values, then you, and your children, may never divorce. That will show real support for family values.
IF you support the war in Iraq, then you (depending on your age) and/or your children must volunteer for the military, either to fight over there, or serve in a support position. And, of course, you must also volunteer for extended duty as part of the "stop loss" policy. The military is falling short of its recruitment quotas.
IF you oppose stem-cell research, then you, and all future generations of your family, will not be permitted the use of any medical breakthroughs, or new treatments, which are developed through that field. But don't worry, I'm sure aspirin really will cure all of those exotic new maladies that seem to spring up every year.
IF you favor Pennsylvania Senate Act 72, which would use gambling proceeds to supposedly reduce property taxes, you must personally pay to make up any shortfall to our school systems when (not IF ) the jackpot ante isn't big enough to cover the increases in education costs. And it will be so easy to get that extra cash - just drop into the local casino, coming soon to a neighborhood near you.
IF you don't vote in local elections, you lose your right to protest at municipal meetings, and write political letters to the editor. Twelve percent of Bucks voters straggled to the polls last month. Instead of being part of the problem, be part of the solution.
If you are opposed to abortion, you must personally contribute to the upbringing of the unwanted babies forced into the world. IF you favor abortion, you must personally contribute to the fees necessary to perform the operations, so no tax money is used. IF abortion ever was outlawed forever, do you think those fanatical protestors would then aim their thou-shalt-not-kill agendas at the handgun manufacturers and drug lords???
IF you support the death penalty, you must look into the eyes of the children of the murderer, and explain why their loved one will be taken from them to satisfy a biblical philosophy.
IF you oppose the death penalty, you must look into the eyes of the children, or parents, or spouse, of the victim and explain why the murderer will be living on their tax dime, and will probably be paroled somewhere down the line.
IF your interpretation of the Second Amendment allows almost anyone in our fair country to stockpile Uzis, assault rifles, and other sportsmanlike weapons of mass destruction, you have no cause for complaint when someone in your family is mowed down by crazed postal workers, deranged Columbine-wanna-bes, or disgruntled ex-employees.
IF you publicly favor the public display, on public property, of the Ten Commandments, you must first take a public oath that you have not violated any of them. Publicly or privately.
IF you are still smoking after more than four decades of warnings, you forfeit any right to blame the tobacco companies for the almost-certain damage to your health. At some point, everyone becomes responsible for their own choices.
IF you have never donated blood, or signed up to be an organ donor upon your death, don't be expecting any priorities in the emergency room should you have an accident.
IF you don't make the time for your children when they need you, don't be surprised when they don't make the time for you when you need them. We require licenses for trivialities like fishing, keeping a dog, and selling magazines door-to-door, but any mope can churn out as many children as he/she wants.
IF you don't take time once in a while to thank your God for the good things in your life, don't expect Him to be in any hurry to welcome you to Cloud City.