Don't believe everything you read, either on paper or your computer screen. If it's anonymous, it's probably not true. With apologies to the late Jim Croce, you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off an ol' Lone Ranger, and you don't believe (or, worse, forward) email spam without first verifying it with Snopes.com.
A day doesn't go by without some well-meaning keyboard jockey sending me a dire warning about various computer viruses, or alleged cell phone telemarketers, or product safety scams. Occasionally one is actually true. Some are distortions. Most are just plain fake-o.
There is a dark community of internet villains, intent on smearing someone or something, or who just self-gratify by clogging up the information highway with 21st century hi-tech chain letters. Make up a story, send it to 100 people, and if it is convincing enough, it will circle the globe 10 times and be trouble for years. And we are the very willing dupes who panic, scare ourselves and others, and do our damndest to make ignorance a form of community service.
Has your mother, or co-worker, or buddy in Ypsilanti, sent you the one about the national cell phone directory that is about to be released to telemarketers? Hurry, hurry! Only 31 days left to register for the no-call list! "Thirty-one days" that never seems to change, no matter when the warning goes out. That's because it has been around for years. It's called a hoax.
Just like the rumor that reusing plastic water bottles causes them to break down into carcinogenic compounds . Or that your hard drive will be destroyed by a virus contained in "A Virtual Card for You", "Everything is Beautiful" or "Life is Beautiful". Or that sucking on a penny will help a drinker defeat a breathalyzer test. Hoax. Hoax. Hoax. And most of us are gullible, gullible, gullible. In fact, that is what the creators of these absurdities are counting on. The one thing they all have in common is the plea: Be sure to pass this on to all of your friends immediately!
It takes a fairly high level of sophistication to write a viable virus, especially one that can elude that same fairly high level of sophistication in today's anti-virus programs. But any dunderhead can make up a story and send it out to play with us children.
Like the Vietnam veteran who was miffed at Target stores. Along with getting mad, he decided to get even. He just plain fabricated a story: The Target Corporation does not contribute to veterans' causes; it only provides corporate grants for gay and lesbian causes; it does not allow reservists called to active duty to continue their health benefits.
All are false, but grew from the guy's email rant in March, 2002, after he failed to secure a $100 sponsorship from his local Target store. He has since apologized, as has Marine Sgt. Howard C. Wright, who wrote vindictively that Starbucks refused free product to G.I.'s serving in Iraq, saying it didn't support the war and anyone in it.
But the authors of most internet smears remain anonymous. Like the (presumed) religious zealots who called for boycotts of both Coke and Pepsi for supposedly distributing soda cans with the Pledge of Allegiance printed without the words "Under God". In fact, the cans in question were made by Dr. Pepper, and did not contain the Pledge, just the words "One Nation Indivisible" after 911.
Or the frightening claim that several major brands of lipstick contain dangerous levels of lead, with a simple test to "prove it". Or that microwaving in plastic containers releases cancer-causing agents into your foods. The FDA says both are untrue. But that hasn't stopped the e-hoaxers from scaring millions. Like you?
As Jim Croce would have said, "Uptown" ain't the only place that "got its hustlers". If you receive an email making claims like these, be sure to check it out before dumping it on your soon-not-to-be-friends. Go to a hoax-busting site like Snopes.com, which was started by Californians Barbara and David Mikkelson in 1995 after they saw so much email and chat site misinformation on the net.
Snopes.com catalogs, and describes in detail, hundreds of myths, truths, and urban legends, the unfortunate by-products of the internet's ability to reach so many people. And it gives authoritative sources and bibliographies for each explanation. In fact, it is so respected that some scams now come complete with lies like "I already checked this out with Snopes!" Don't believe it - check yourself.
The name "Snopes", by the way, refers to a large family of con artists and double-dealers which appear throughout the works of William Faulkner, who, himself, had a reputation as a drinker, philanderer, and "embellisher" of his own life history.
Of course, some e-spams are actually true, and helpful. There is a toll-free directory assistance number, 1-800-FREE411 , which avoids the hefty charges imposed by most phone companies today. Identity thieves do pretend to be fraud investigation agents for Visa and MasterCard in order to obtain credit card security codes. You might be scammed by returning a call to the 809 area code, but it is rare. The Kama Sutra virus is real. Snopes.com has complete details. Bookmark it.
And there are lots of interesting factoids: The Texas legislature did once pass a resolution honoring the Boston Strangler . There is not a federal law prohibiting U.S. citizens from having contact with extraterrestrial beings. And, a fully-grown moose was spotted surfing down a rain-swollen river in Norway this past winter, riding on a large chunk of ice.
So before you click on that "forward" button, click on Snopes.com, because, like Croce sang, you don't mess around with spam.