There are, literally, hundreds of patron saints watching over the world. Patron saints of places. Patron saints of occupations and activities. Patron saints of ailments, illnesses, and dangers. And they can be pretty obscure...
St Abhai, the patron saint providing protection from poisonous reptiles. St Conrad of Piacenza, protecting against hernias. St Vitus, to guard against oversleeping. St Medard for toothaches. And, of course, the venerated St Albinus of Angers, whose specialty is warding off pirate attacks. But the field still seems to be wide open for a patron saint for those poor folks who are just plain in over their heads.
Might I propose for canonization - St Barack. The 2008 symbol for much-needed change in American politics has become the 2010 poster child for those needing a clue. Washington politics is not an easy game, and merely being a fresh face, even one with a mandate, is no guarantee of success. If you can't play hardball, you fail. And don't think that our allies - and enemies - around the world haven't noticed. If a president basically bungles his own Job One priority, domestic health care, for over a year, eventually settling for far less than he originally envisioned, and sharply dividing the nation, how will he deal with the even greater threats from the Kim Jong Ils, or Mahmoud Ahmadinejads, or Valdimir Putins? Unless the foundering ship of state is righted very soon, St Barack will be walking hand-in-hand with St Jude, the patron saint of lost causes.
Of course, our President's troubles are not entirely of his own doing. Republicans, who left us eight years of George Bush's mess, have been gleefully tossing Captain Obama anchors rather than life preservers. No, it isn't their job to rescue the President from his own failings, but it seems that they are a bit more interested in seeing him drown than to see the country succeed. Elections are only two years away, you know.
Barack Obama knows all too well. "I'd rather be a really good one-term president than a mediocre two-term president", he told ABC World News' Diane Sawyer on January 25th. The third option, not mentioned but looking increasingly possible, is that he will be a poor one-term president. Make that another "poor one-term president" - a phrase straight from the Department of Redundancy Department.
The fact is, there has never been a "really good one-term president". And if Obama was going to raise the issue on national television, he should have known it. Not counting the men who died during their first term, the one-and-done roster includes John Adams, John Quincy Adams, Martin Van Buren, James K Polk, Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, Rutherford B Hayes, Benjamin Harrison, William Howard Taft, Herbert Hoover, Jimmy Carter and George HW Bush. And if you think that patron saints can be obscure, what do you know about Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, or Benjamin Harrison??? These guys were our presidents, for goodness sake!
The online Wikipedia shows the results of 13 respected polls, conducted between 1948 and 2009, which ranked the presidents according to slightly differing criteria. Some are more weighted toward historians, or political scientists, or just public opinion. But regardless of the background of the experts, the numbers were pretty much the same. Not a single one-termer was rated consistently in the top quartile of US presidents. John Adams was rated ninth and 10th in two polls, and Polk managed an eight, nine, and 10 (it should be noted that he chose not to run for re-election, and died of cholera three months after leaving office). Other than that, mediocrity might be a generous label.
Of the 12 men on the list, only four - Adams, Quincy Adams, Polk, and Taft - were even considered in the second quartile, or top half, of our commanders-in-chief. Van Buren, Hayes, Harrison, Hoover, Carter, and Bush were third quartiles, and Pierce and Buchanan were regarded among the worst to hold the office.
Yet another poll, conducted by Rasmussen Reports in 2007, asked 1000 randomly selected adults to rate America's 42 presidents. Only Adams cracked the top 10 at number 7. Six of the one-term 12 ranked 31 or worse. Polls by Washington College in 2005, and Gallup in 2007, asking who was the "greatest American President" had surprisingly similar results: Only one of our group, Jimmy Carter, received as much as two percent of the vote. A 2006 Gallup Poll surveying opinions about the most recent six presidents, from Ford to GW Bush, found that 68 percent felt GHW Bush was average, or worse.
Clearly there is a reason why one-termers were one-termers. For the most part, for one cause or another (or many), they sucked as presidents. There isn't a single case of a highly-regarded four-year prez who chose to retire at the top of his game, and have history record that he rode off into the sunset, leaving the nation with glowing memories of his successes. Ailing James Polk aside, the concept is almost unthinkable today. If a president is "really good" in his first term, he almost certainly would be back for an encore. But to be a "really good one-term president", you must first be, well, really good. Can anyone honestly say that Barack Obama has been really good at anything except campaigning for the office?
His fantasy of being a "really good one-term president" is unprecedented in America. But remember, the man has already accomplished one remarkable historical milestone. Is there another miracle on the wing for St Barack?
A Drive-In Police Station?
Quakertown will soon have a new Sonic drive-in fast food restaurant, but no one was expecting a drive-in police station. Talk about bizarre.....
The town avoided its own mini-911 disaster on Sunday, March 14, when a former mental patient, 31-year old Timothy Swart, inexplicably attempted to drive his car into the police station wing of Borough Hall at about 1 a.m. Fortunately, the combination of a high curb, and deep mud from the recent rains, stopped the vehicle short of the apparent target.
But that didn't deter the would-be attacker. He then poured gasoline, which he had just purchased, on the car, and set it afire! Again, fates were kind to the town, as the blaze didn't ignite the building, only damaging several windows, shutters, and computer equipment. Police Chief Scott McElree estimated the loss at about $10,000.
Apparently Swart was upset with Quakertown's Finest because they had sided with his mother when she tried to convince him not to drive the car under the influence of his medication.
According to the police report, when being interviewed after his apprehension, Swart explained that he hears President and Mrs Obama speaking to him, as well as jihadists from Baghdad. And, during his recent stay at the Horsham psychiatric unit, Swart claims that the Baghdad folks "put a laser down my penis and then inserted a homing device on one of my testicles".
Mr Swart may (or may not) have been crazy, but he isn't stupid. When QPD officers read him his Miranda rights, he told them that he had "nothing more to say until he talked to a lawyer".
If you think that YOU have trouble in your life, just look around. There but for the grace of God, go I....